cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
You are a genius and a whore.
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