I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
