its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
