She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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