He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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