i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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