I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
