i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Randomize
