My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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