how can u be prego again
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Randomize
