don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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