Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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