i may or may not be watching the land before time
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
home. puking in laundry basket.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
