the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I color on your dick again?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize