Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
NoShamevember. You game?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
