I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
