hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
