: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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