No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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