Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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