Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
