He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
