i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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