i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
