Screwed.edu
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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