I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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