I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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