If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Randomize
