Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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