Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
