What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
