Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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