ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
