i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
