I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
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