..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
