I can't breathe out the right side of my face
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
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