This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
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