My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
