DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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