do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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