this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
