i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
