I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
nutella sex= disaster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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