I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
