To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
my poor anus
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
