My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I need water and some morals
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
