hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
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