and you said cock pushups were impossible
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
