I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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