Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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