no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
