I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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