I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
love makes seman taste better
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
