I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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