I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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