the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Someone stole a lamp last night.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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