My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
There are leaves in my underwear?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
