I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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