He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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