As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
