Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
