have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
