going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
